July 10 2012- The day Penicillin was rediscovered in my fridge.....

I recently went on a little vacation with Ollie and Dave stayed home to work.  You know how before a vacation- you usually clean the house?  I sort of did that- but didn't get to finish.  While away I called Dave several times.  His usual comment was that he was bored without us there.  I mentioned some projects that he could do around  the house and some cleaning that would be helpful to me before I returned.  He also said, "The house is about how you left it so it doesn't really need to be cleaned."  Notice the ABOUT in that sentence.  I should say that its not like Dave LIKES his house dirty.  I should also say that I am not the greatest house keeper.  See, there are apparently multiple definitions of clean.  For Dave, clean means uncluttered.  If this there is a bunch of stuff out, it drives him nuts.  For me, clean means vacuumed, wiped down with cleaner, dusted...etc.  Basically, I can live with clutter as long as I know its clean underneath. 

Thus brings us to the refrigerator.  I didn't have time to clean it before I left.  There was various cartons of leftovers and of course food for Dave to eat while I was gone in the fridge.  Unfortunately, when I left I forgot that Dave MAGICALLY forgets how to cook when I am gone and was not planning on eating any leftovers or GASP make himself something.  As a result, the kitchen was in an apocolyptic state.  It was uncluttered, but counters had not been wiped, stove had not been cleaned since used and the sinks looked awful.  ** Warning: if you have a weak stomach you may want to skip this part** I knew when I walked into the house upon returning from vacation that the fridge was bad.  Its right by the door.......the smell was seeping out.  I swear it had every type of mold possible growing in there.  It was disgusting.  PLUS there was a huge wet gooey spot on a shelf where something had spilled while I was gone and had not been cleaned.  It literally took an hour to clean. 

So- if you plan to be gone for 10 days....even if someone is still going to be home, clean out the fridge first.

Why adults should not play video games......

One of Dave's favorite activities is playing video games.  As a result, when we have free time he is often found playing them.  I usually try to get him a video game every once in a while.  Recently, Ollie and I got him the game Assassins Creed- Revelations.  I realize its been out for a while but we're broke...so...yeah.  He was immediately hooked and played it all the time.  Now, looking at the title of this post, you may think I am going to complain about how much time he spent playing video games.  Nope.  That's not it.   Be patient.....your questions will be answered.  One of Dave's other favorite video game activities is watching me play his games.  I'm honestly not as awful at them as I could be.  Especially since I never had video games as a child.  However, I have noticed some interesting side effects.  I am going to break them down by game. 

Assassins Creed-  In this game you run around and assassinate people.  Obviously.  But the real fun for me is climbing walls.  If it can be climbed in the game I will climb it.  Now I look all around at buildings and houses and trees and think........"How would Ezio climb this?"  I often have random thoughts....that doesn't bother me; but the amount of time I have spent obsessing wondering about it is nuts.

Lego Pirates of the Caribbean- This is a personal favorite.  I mean who wouldn't laugh at a lego Johnny Depp careening across the screen?   The camera angle in this game is weird.  If you try to turn around, the camera doesn't move with you...... its just odd.  There is just no way to make it work perfectly.  As a result, I spend much of the game attempting to move my OWN body to make it a little less annoying.  It makes me look like I am having a seizure, heart attack, or need an exorcism. 

Need for Speed-  I really like car racing games.  Something about running from the police in a car that I could never possibly own is totally awesome!  I also like to make the cars pretty customize the cars.  HOWEVER, I have a crazy, unnatural fear of cops.  For example, I am driving down the road and I see a cop car.  I break into a cold sweat and my heart races.  I would like to take the time emphasize that in real life I am a good driver.  I don't speed...often... and I obey basic traffic laws and I'm not weaving in and out of traffic.  There is absolutely no reason I should be nervous.  But alas, I am.  So I take out my cop frustration in the game. 

Mario-  We also have a Wii, on which I play Mario Galaxy.  Those songs are so ridiculously catchy.  How could I not have them in my head while pushing a shopping cart- its just when I try to jump for coins that it gets a little scary.

Kidding about that last part.   Sort of.

Anyway, these are the many reasons why at least I should not play video games.

Weird things that happen when you have a kid

A number of weird things happen when you have a kid.  Some are totally awesome.  Some are not so awesome.  There is no way I can hit them all in one blog post, so I am going to just hit a few.  Some of these weird things might be just because we ( Dave and I) are weird.  Who knows. You tell me.

Very soon after your kid arrives you start imagining what they are going to  have for a career.  Odd isn't it?  You just have a child and you immediatley imagine them out of the house! Every thing they do, makes you ponder their future.  The silly part is, its stuff that EVERY kid does!  For example.... Ollie kicks his legs ALL the time.  So we think he might be a soccer player.  He loves water and animals so maybe he will be a marine biologist.  He likes music and climbing all over everything so maybe he wants to be a circus performer.  He also likes to dance so maybe he will be a backup dancer.  His agility likens him to a cat burgler.  Maybe he is practicing to be a fireman when he...........

You meet random people when you have a baby.  EVERYONE wants to touch your child.  I hate it.  I'm glad Ollie is social and smiles and babbles at people, but it doesn't mean he wants you to touch him.  Also, even if he wants to grab peoples hand and have them tickle and play with him, does NOT mean we want you to.  Believe it or not, when I am shopping in a store, it is not my life's dream to take five times longer to get groceries just because you want to say hi to a baby. 

EVERYONE gives you directions on how to raise your child.  If you don't follow it, it is immediately assumed that you a) are a bad parent and b) will eventually come to agree that they are the wisest person on earth and will regret not agreeing with them.   Also, babies crying drive people crazy.  I get that most of the time when babies cry its because they need something.  God created them like that for a reason.  That doesn't mean every time my baby cries means I need to do something about it.  For example, Oliver a cries when he wants to chew on the tv control and I won't let him.  Obviously we don't just give him whatever wants..........

I'm sure there is more. 

The Closet Dancer and other random confessions

So.  This is my blog.  I decided I would start one even if only two people read it....me and my husband.  It comes with this warning: You may not be amused by this blog.  I promise not to make you read it.  I double promise not to tape your eyelids open so you don't have to read it.  It's your choice.  Just like deciding on what socks you are going to wear today or what your favorite ice cream topping is.   So I have joined the ___________ (enter some number) people who blog so others can read about what goes on in their heads.  

I have been reading other peoples blogs and have noticed that there are many purposes for writing blogs.  Some rant, some are super funny, some share recipes, others discuss daily events.  Today I am confessing random things. 

Confession #1:  I am a closet dancer.  I absolutely love to dance.  I have always loved to dance.  I have not danced in public, however, since my 11/12 year old dance recital.  Dave got me the Dance Central game for Kinect shortly after I had Oliver.  I was immediately addicted.  I found muscles I didn't remember having.  As a middle school teacher, we have school dances that we have to chaperone.  I chaperoned one this week.  Some teachers danced with the kids.  When kids came over, I told them I can't dance.  {{bowing in shame from my outright lie}}.  I don't even know if I'm a good dancer because I don't dance in front of anyone.  Guess I'll never know. 

Confession#2:  I am terribly amused by road signs.  Seriously.  It doesn't even have to be funny.  Driving by "Gull Lake Inn," I imagine a business called "The Gull Lake Outt."  I get launched into a dream world where the Gull Lake Outt is a travel agency that has a building of only doors that say exit on them.  You can imagine my fit of hysterics when I drive by signs that are supposed to be funny.  For example in Grissom, Indiana,  there is a little gas station/diner with a sign that says "Eat Here and Get Gas."  I almost ran off the road when I saw it.  You may be thinking to yourself, "Chelsea I have ridden in the car with you and I have never heard you talk about road signs."  Then I would have to say, that's why its a confession people! 'Cause not many people know it.  BUT, if you see me smiling quietly in the seat next to you, I am probably thinking about a road sign that amused me. 

Confession#3:  I love useless trivia.  For example, did you know that a rat can live longer without water than a camel?  Or Lots of lipstick contains fish scales.  Also, did you know that the glue on Israeli Postage Stamps is Kosher?  I also have a bad habit of imparting this useless knowledge at bad times.  Like when my mom was driving and hit a squirrel, I felt the need to tell her that squirrels mate for life.  Great timing Chels.  Where do I get this useless knowledge you ask?  EVERYWHERE. 

That its Folks.....until next time :)